This week I was talking to a friend about one of those stupid Facebook quizzes, you know the “You are…”, this one was about what degree you have. The funny thing about it is that we both got PhD and it seems like everyone else that I have seen that took it also got Phd’s. We got to joking about what happened to the money because neither one of us have seen it. I teased that my dad took it to earn his millions on shrimp boats and toquilla factories. Then my spirit went dark and the next thing I told my friend was how while I was in the hospital after my accident my dad got made at me because I refused to give him any money for the shrimp boats and toquilla factories.
This isn’t like I just sprung on someone who didn’t know my dad. This is a friend from high school that knew my dad all too well and the verbal and mental abuse that I went through because of him. My friend has been helping me the past couple years get past it and knew all too well what direction I had turned. I was headed back into the what I call rejection cycle, where I will pull up everything my dad did that made me feel rejected which then lead to getting mad and hurt about it all over again. I thank God for my good friend which responded with, "that is him... you are you... and he does not deserve to even be part of your thoughts.” That snapped me out of it.
Before you jump all over my friend for saying that. Let’s look at what I was doing that I shouldn’t have been doing. First, I was reliving a past hurt. As my chiropractor says, “The past is perfect. You can’t change it. So stop trying.” Secondly, I was letting it fester and start to take root again which would end up in bitterness. Thirdly, I was not following biblical instructions. Paul wrote in Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” I lost my focus and was starting to spiral downward because of my thoughts were focused on what my dad did to me.
As I was working on finding pictures to use for blogs I acme across the this one of the rusty lock on an chainlink fence that is not serving a purpose since the fence is broken. When a conversation that I had last week with another friend about dealing with the past issues so that we do not become blindsides by them. I thought that I had put this issue with my dad behind me, yet it popped up. Our past is like the rusty lock in our minds and we hold the key to unlock our past. When we come to a lock for our past before we unlocked and start unpacking the past. Is it something that will build us up, does it have a good purpose? What I mean is that it is something that will build you up, encourage you. Or is it a useless lock, holding on to a memory that will lead to a downward spiral of emotions? We nee to only unlock the past that will build is up and leave hanging on the fence the thoughts that will bring us down.
This isn’t like I just sprung on someone who didn’t know my dad. This is a friend from high school that knew my dad all too well and the verbal and mental abuse that I went through because of him. My friend has been helping me the past couple years get past it and knew all too well what direction I had turned. I was headed back into the what I call rejection cycle, where I will pull up everything my dad did that made me feel rejected which then lead to getting mad and hurt about it all over again. I thank God for my good friend which responded with, "that is him... you are you... and he does not deserve to even be part of your thoughts.” That snapped me out of it.
Before you jump all over my friend for saying that. Let’s look at what I was doing that I shouldn’t have been doing. First, I was reliving a past hurt. As my chiropractor says, “The past is perfect. You can’t change it. So stop trying.” Secondly, I was letting it fester and start to take root again which would end up in bitterness. Thirdly, I was not following biblical instructions. Paul wrote in Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” I lost my focus and was starting to spiral downward because of my thoughts were focused on what my dad did to me.
As I was working on finding pictures to use for blogs I acme across the this one of the rusty lock on an chainlink fence that is not serving a purpose since the fence is broken. When a conversation that I had last week with another friend about dealing with the past issues so that we do not become blindsides by them. I thought that I had put this issue with my dad behind me, yet it popped up. Our past is like the rusty lock in our minds and we hold the key to unlock our past. When we come to a lock for our past before we unlocked and start unpacking the past. Is it something that will build us up, does it have a good purpose? What I mean is that it is something that will build you up, encourage you. Or is it a useless lock, holding on to a memory that will lead to a downward spiral of emotions? We nee to only unlock the past that will build is up and leave hanging on the fence the thoughts that will bring us down.