Should someone ask me to name one thing that my dad was good at, I would have to say it was telling lies. Over the years I started wondering if he even knew what the truth was or if he believed the lies that he was saying to be the truth. At one point I talked to my youth pastor about it and his response was that a duck will always quack. Such insight was really helpful to me not with just my dad but in understanding people in general. As I look back now I can see that my dad's lies were his defense mechanism. He saw himself as perfect and anything that would point out otherwise to him was wrong. Some of the lies are just out ridiculous while others were down right hurtful.
MISTRUST - Doesn't matter what the lie is when it is found out or just utterly ridiculous and unbelievable, that lie creats mistrust to build about that person. That persons credibility has been lost and that is something very hard to get back. My youth pastor told me about a couple of the lies he got from my dad that I will share just to show what lies do. The first one took place at my youth choirs last concert in Hawaii. On the last song the sound went out, yet the choir just continued as if nothing had happened. When my youth pastor asked my dad what happened his response was that there was an ion storm that knocked the sound system out. My youth pastors said that is when he realized that a duck will always quack and my dad will always blame someone or something else for what went wrong. For when my youth pastor looked down at the sound table from the stage he saw that the plug for sound was laying next to my dad's foot, no longer plugged into the wall.
RESENTMENT - When someone continues to tell you lies or lies about you, resentment sets in. Almost daily my everyday throughout my high school years it seems that I was the one that misplaced the remote, tvguide scotch tap, you name it, if it was missing I was the reason for it. What made it worse was that he would come in my room and dump all my drawers on to my bed because he refused to believe me. The funny thing is that it always ended up on the table next to his chair with something that he had put on top of it. Being a used of something that I never did built of a lot of resentment that eventually turned into bitterness.
ANGER - Lies can cause the person that is being told the lie to become angry. Back to the youth choir in Hawaii. This is one lie that went through the youth choir fast. My dad had taken some of the women grocery shopping so they could get what they needed for our meals at the church we were staying at. They had been gone an hou or more than what was expected. When they did show up the response that my dad gave as to why it took so long was that the state of Hawaii laid the streets out wrong and he had to go a long way before he could find a street to go in the direction that he needed to go. Yes, it was the sate of Hawaii's fault that he got lost. That response did not go over very well with one of the husbands of the ladies that were in the van with him. This guy a lot bigger and younger than my dad was ready to beat him up and actually had to be restrained from doing so. I just wanted to go hide and be as far away from him as possible.
STOPS COMUNICATION - it gets to a point when someone is constantly lying that it seems senseless to continue any communication with that person. After all when you know that most of all that is coming out of that persons mouth is a lie then why would you want to waste your time. After my dad moved out it made it easier to cut off communication with him. Not that I talked that much to him anymore before he moved out. What really put a stop to my communication with him was when he blamed me for the divorce. I saw it coming and did nothing to stop it. I wanted to come back and say, "Did you ever think that I wanted you out too?" BUT I didn't see a reason to waste my breath.
LOSS OF RELATIONSHIP - After being lied to for so long people stop wanting to be around the one that is lying. My mom would say it sounds ridiculous to someone if she was to say ciggeretts caused the divorce. Truth is that it was the constant lies about the cigarettes that killed the relationship. Without trust there is no relationship. My dad lied all the time about the cigarettes we would find in the car. He was taking them to a place to make them into a pack that would spring like a mouse trap on a friends finger. He gave someone from work a ride and they'd left them there. Someone else's that were next to his coffee cup at work. He would go to a store come back smelling like he had been in a smoke filled room and that was because someone was smoking in line in front of him.
Job is at a point with his "friends" that he has had enough as is seen in his response to Zophar. He has lost all confidence in them as any type of comforters. He grew resentful of their constant insisting that he had sinned. His anger towards them growing for he knew that they would just keep believing the lies that they felt to be true about him. As we will see he tells them to get out of there he had had enough of there false hoods. Zophar seemed to have gotten Job's message as this was his last time speaking.
MISTRUST - Doesn't matter what the lie is when it is found out or just utterly ridiculous and unbelievable, that lie creats mistrust to build about that person. That persons credibility has been lost and that is something very hard to get back. My youth pastor told me about a couple of the lies he got from my dad that I will share just to show what lies do. The first one took place at my youth choirs last concert in Hawaii. On the last song the sound went out, yet the choir just continued as if nothing had happened. When my youth pastor asked my dad what happened his response was that there was an ion storm that knocked the sound system out. My youth pastors said that is when he realized that a duck will always quack and my dad will always blame someone or something else for what went wrong. For when my youth pastor looked down at the sound table from the stage he saw that the plug for sound was laying next to my dad's foot, no longer plugged into the wall.
RESENTMENT - When someone continues to tell you lies or lies about you, resentment sets in. Almost daily my everyday throughout my high school years it seems that I was the one that misplaced the remote, tvguide scotch tap, you name it, if it was missing I was the reason for it. What made it worse was that he would come in my room and dump all my drawers on to my bed because he refused to believe me. The funny thing is that it always ended up on the table next to his chair with something that he had put on top of it. Being a used of something that I never did built of a lot of resentment that eventually turned into bitterness.
ANGER - Lies can cause the person that is being told the lie to become angry. Back to the youth choir in Hawaii. This is one lie that went through the youth choir fast. My dad had taken some of the women grocery shopping so they could get what they needed for our meals at the church we were staying at. They had been gone an hou or more than what was expected. When they did show up the response that my dad gave as to why it took so long was that the state of Hawaii laid the streets out wrong and he had to go a long way before he could find a street to go in the direction that he needed to go. Yes, it was the sate of Hawaii's fault that he got lost. That response did not go over very well with one of the husbands of the ladies that were in the van with him. This guy a lot bigger and younger than my dad was ready to beat him up and actually had to be restrained from doing so. I just wanted to go hide and be as far away from him as possible.
STOPS COMUNICATION - it gets to a point when someone is constantly lying that it seems senseless to continue any communication with that person. After all when you know that most of all that is coming out of that persons mouth is a lie then why would you want to waste your time. After my dad moved out it made it easier to cut off communication with him. Not that I talked that much to him anymore before he moved out. What really put a stop to my communication with him was when he blamed me for the divorce. I saw it coming and did nothing to stop it. I wanted to come back and say, "Did you ever think that I wanted you out too?" BUT I didn't see a reason to waste my breath.
LOSS OF RELATIONSHIP - After being lied to for so long people stop wanting to be around the one that is lying. My mom would say it sounds ridiculous to someone if she was to say ciggeretts caused the divorce. Truth is that it was the constant lies about the cigarettes that killed the relationship. Without trust there is no relationship. My dad lied all the time about the cigarettes we would find in the car. He was taking them to a place to make them into a pack that would spring like a mouse trap on a friends finger. He gave someone from work a ride and they'd left them there. Someone else's that were next to his coffee cup at work. He would go to a store come back smelling like he had been in a smoke filled room and that was because someone was smoking in line in front of him.
Job is at a point with his "friends" that he has had enough as is seen in his response to Zophar. He has lost all confidence in them as any type of comforters. He grew resentful of their constant insisting that he had sinned. His anger towards them growing for he knew that they would just keep believing the lies that they felt to be true about him. As we will see he tells them to get out of there he had had enough of there false hoods. Zophar seemed to have gotten Job's message as this was his last time speaking.